Monday, April 20, 2015

Lessons I've Learned Along the Way #13 (cancer/energy and anger)

Lessons I've learned along the way #13
Put your energy where it's needed and your anger where it's deserved.
I'm a "doer". I like looking at a situation, assessing it, seeing what I can do to improve it, then doing it *or asking someone else to do it, if I'm not equipped. 
Gossip, worry, meddling, bitterness- all energy wasters. I try to purposefully avoid them, and instead throw my energy and efforts into helping where ever I can. 
A great example of this principle was demonstrated a while ago, when a group from our church went to a family's home and landscaped their yard for them. What an awesome gift for a family who was focused on healing and recovery! I want to be a doer like that!
Think outside of the box. Look for needs, both big and small. Then do.
As for anger- it's going to come. And sometimes, it tricks you into thinking that you're angry at the wrong things or people. It deflects. I need to keep an eye on this.
One of my life's mottoes is: 
If I don't ask God "Why me?" during the good times, then I don't have the right to ask Him "Why me?" during the bad times. (Or "Why us?" in this case.)
This has helped me keep my anger from going heavenward. For the most part... Once in a while it creeps up and I have to put it back in its place. But, if I believe that God is in control and that His way is best, then who am I to point the finger at Him in anger, when things get hard? 
Also, in full disclosure, sometimes I get angry with family members who aren't doing what I think they should be doing. And I have to keep that in check as well. Their choices are theirs to make. Not mine. I need to simply handle my own business and allow others the right to handle theirs, without my judgement. This isn't always easy, and I have to purposefully fight against that anger.
So where does anger fit in? Is there such a thing as justifiable anger here? 
I think so.
I am beyond angry at smoking, cigarettes, cigars, pipes, etc... At some point, I expect to post my thoughts on it. Smokers, feel free to quit now before I rip you a new one. It's not going to be pretty.
And I am angry at the doctors and services who have failed. Over. And over. Again. Not because they haven't cured my dad yet, but because the ball has been dropped in very unprofessional ways, too many times. 
There is room for error. There is not room for incompetence. Letters will be written.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out... 
Needless to say, I firmly believe that a passive stance on both energy expenditure and anger management is an unwise choice. 
Make the best of these situations by purposefully using- 
your energy to do good for others, 
and your anger to fuel change for the better.

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