Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Lessons I've Learned Along the Way #18 (death/duties)

There is more to death than death, for the people who are left behind.

Having never lost someone this close to me before, I was ill prepared for the amount of thought, decision making and emotions that would come with my dad's death.

Prior to this experience, I had mostly just thought about the sadness in the people who were left behind, and the eternal resting place of the person who had passed.  

I had never considered the many other things that accompany death.

The removal of the body.

Contacting people and breaking the news.

Writing the obituary.

Planning the burial.

Planning the memorial service.

Picking memorial cards for the service.

Planning a meal, after the service.

Selecting the tombstone.  

Wording on the tombstone.

The timing of the tombstone's placement.

Filing legal documents.

Changing names on accounts.

Organizing the deceased  person's belongings.

Distributing or storing the belongings.

Putting away the medical supplies.

It's overwhelming just thinking about those tasks, let alone doing them right after you lose someone you love.

I totally get why God makes us numb, at first.  Such a beautiful coping mechanism...

And then there are the every day questions and decisions such as:

What will my mom do now?

Will she live in the big house by herself?

Does she have enough money to live comfortably?

Does she have enough health insurance?

Who will take care of the property?  

Who will take care of the horses and ponies?

Who will fix the sink?

On and on it goes...

The void left behind by a person who passes is so much bigger than I'd imagined.

There is so much more to death than death...

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